Written Feb. 22nd

Today I got hiking shoes for my trip. I went to dance practice and it turned out to be really positive and we got a ton accomplished, it was amazing! It's amazing how much a positive attitude going into somethign makes it so much better.
I finally booked my flight. I leave on the 11th of March! Everything just hit me. Up to this point all my planning has been really surreal and I didnt even realize it up until now. This is actually happening. Im so exited, alittle intimidated, but this will be so good for me! I cant wait to absorb everything around me! I want out of my little Ohio bubble so bad!

Written Feb. 21st

Today I had dance. We had to perform our senior dance and it was aweful. I was really concerned that sundays practice would be really tense. Im beginning to get less stressed, just a small amout though. When I'm this stressed I cant stand to just sit aroudn my house and relaz and do nothing, especially with such a huge list of stuff I need to do.
Im really concerned about money. I really hope applying to the experience fund will help.
Writing journal entries on weekends is really difficult.

Written Feb. 20th

Oh my goodness. Im so stressed I think its making me physically sick. I did not feel good when I woke up and at seminar I just began to feel progressivelyt worse. Then my mom and Liz had a meeting. I feel like people are shooting down my walkabout. Even if im wrong in trying to do so much stuff, and I understand linworth needs an initial plan, I can always change my mind when I get there. As far as safety is concerned..Linworth has sent people to Haiti. As long as I have a cell phone and everyone knows where I am all the time and I pay attention to what's going on around me, I think I'll be fine.
I had a bit of a breakdown today. I wasn't feeling well and missed the coolest shoot ever at the studio. However I did get some stuff that needed to be accomplished done after I woke up from a nice logn nap and once I was feeling alittle better.

Written Feb. 19th

I wore a new dress today and i felt so good all day. I was super excited for all our reps to come see the studio. Everyday seems to be another confirmation of how well I work with clients, and I love working with them too! I also love coming into the staudio in the morning and blasting music while I clean alone. It's a really good way to start the day. Im actually starting to look forward to cleaning.
Matt sent me a text tonight about how much he appreciates my hard work and time. It was super sweet and such good encouragement since I hate when I feel that I'm doing things wrong.
I like changing things up. Switching the tsudio furniture around was super great today! I really like the change of sorroundings(or the illusion of a change).

Written Feb. 18th

IM SO STRESSED!!! So for today's journal I'm going to write a list of everything that's stressing me out/ things that I need to do.
-Join AAA(buy eurorail pass+travel money card)
-Book RCI condos for Europe Trip
-Dance(is consuming my time!!)
-Buy camera equipment(amongst other things) for Europe
-Catch up on Journals
-Trying to keep up with friends
-Not being able to drive is AWEFUL
-..so is not having any money
-Chelsea not being here
-Cleaning my room(WHEN?!)
-Applying to Warren Wilson
-My hair..is turning into dreads.Bleh.

Written Feb. 11

I realized again today the importance of always having my camera on me. It's been seeming like a hassle lately, especially since the winter doesn't really inspire me too often. However, today I saw a double full arched, super clear rainbow! And I didn't have my camera!

Note to Self: Glue my camera to my body as to not be constantly frusterated.

Written Feb. 10

Today I promoted again. I was talking to this kid and he got super duper pissed that I asked him to be a rep. He was threatening us and everything. I feel like if he really knew me in person he wouldn't have been such a jerk. People are so much more comfortable being mean when they arent face to face.I mean, I was just trying to do my job, that's all. This made me realize I'm guilty of the same thingjust very rarely and definitely not to the same degree. However, these people that society is mean to are only doing their jobs, or acting how they've been raised. Society should be a little more forgiving, I think we could all benefit.

Written Feb. 9

Today I tried to get some cleaning done. I'm really beginning to think that I'm just a naturally messy person. However, I know where everything is in my head but when my stuff is organized I can't find anything. I do have an aweful lot of stuff though.
Is messy genetic? My parents have aweful organization skills as well which makes me wonder if it's just because I've been raised in this environment or if it's slightly genetic. Scientists seem to be discovering more and more things as having a genetic disposition.
I should google this.

Written Feb. 8

Today was our dance team competition that consumed my time and energy. Dance performances and competitions are the only days out of the year I really prepare for in advance. Im proud to dance at CDA and have such an amazing teacher. I love being part of her artwork.
After the competition I raced over to a family friend's house to go ghost hunting. He's a professional photographer so I leanred a ton about night time photography. I need to go back to really old graveyards to take pics, I really like the "old, dead" look. Paul was really cool and inspiring to work with. He gives me a lot of encouragement that I have real photograohy talent, which is nice because I question myself sometimes. However, theres no doubt I love taking picturs and in the end thats all that matters.

Written Feb. 7

Today I got accepted to Green Mountain College! HOORAY!! I'm really excited because even though it's not my first choice (Green Mtn. and Hobart and William Smith are in a tie for second) it's really nice to know I'm just going to college in general! Especially since this is my first acceptance. Hopefully since they are similar to Warren Wilson they will like me too.
Tonight I went on a date with my Mom since my friends ditched me. It was nice and relaxing though. I'm beginning to realize that I may becoming closer to my family (at times). Since otehr people I would normally spend all my time with are off doing exciting things. Plus, the fact that my mom and I carpool helps us get along.

Written Feb. 6

Seminar was way cool today. I like being able to see everyone and hear what they are doing. Im really glad my Walkabout is so chill. I went to the piercers tonight. Piercings are like a craving. However, I'm starting to realize the importance of prioratizing with money and its no fun. I compare everything to how much a night at a hostel would cost. No matter how much self-control saving up for this trip takes, I know I need this. I was kind of a compulsive shopper before. I even applied to another job today at the Mellow Mushroom. I really want this job; I'd actually look forward to going to work, which would be SO nice.

Written Feb. 5

Sitting again today. I decided I definitely want to work for myself. I like how chill the environment is at the studio. Ryan brought his dog in today. Rick even talked about how most people will work for themselves in whistle. I like having my own way of doing things.
Im really scared. Im beginning to realize just how much I need to learn(specifically in the world of photography) and I am completely and totally overwhelmed, especially since im not going to an art school even though I want to be a photographer. I guess I'll just teach myself and learn from experience. Its just that I want to know everything. Now.
..Which makes me think.. however unfortunate it may be in the long run..maybe in the future we'll have pills you can take for instant knowledge.

Written Feb. 4

Today was a day at home. However, things were really strained. Everything is so stressful for everyone in my family. My parents have been getting really upset with my sister. Its interesting to see her make the same mistakes I did, but if i try to warn her or tell her what to do(suggest) she just gets deffensive. I can see why parenting would be so hard.
WHile Linowrth has prepared me to a degree about how to use free time productively days like this are still hard. EVeryone else is at school and I find myself sleeping in most of the time. However, I did do some Europe trip research. Im beginnign to find it's much easier to motivate yourself when the outcome involves you.

Written Feb 3

Oh my goodness. I can't remember the last time I sat in the same spot for 7 hours straight. While I wouldn't mind an office job in some respects, I have got to move and be outside. However, I looked at it as just one more challenge that will push my endurance and make me that much stronger in the long run-yes, even a simple task like staying still and focusing on my work even though my leg was twitching and my butt was beyond numb.
People don't eat here. I feel dumb sneaking snacks. 8 hours without food is definitely not something I'm used to. I guess when youre passionate about something basic needs can wait. Not to say I donot love it her-I DO! Im not really used to being so hungry though..