Written April 9th(Catching up)

I have some catching up to do. my last night was really nice and Hans even made some homemade pizza for us. i woke up pretty early though to get ready for lenny(April 11th 2009) I was so excited the night before that I could barely sleep. When he picked me up his parents came with him-they were so sweet! His dad looked just like him=) it really made me think about how much i look like my mom and how my relatives kept calling me Rita. It's just really interesting to think about the similarities and differences. There wasnt much talking in the car and most of it was German. It was weird to be in lenny's world when I was so used to him geing in mine. Car silence can be aweful and incredibly uncomfortable but I definitely think theres something to be said about when nothing needs to be said and theres a really comfortable relaxed silence. That sort of silence can be quiet rare. I had my first meal from a german McDonalds that day. They made such a big deal out of it, it was cute. As soon as we got to Lenny's amazingly adorable flat we had to go pick up christine-which ended up being so complicated and we wandered around the airport for an hour until we found her. I was so happy at first to have a girl friend to talk to. We had a cute little dinner at his house before we got ready to go over to his friends house before his schools dance. In the end i fell down some stairs and got the worst bruises of my life. the next day we woke up and went into the city. We saw some shops, got smoothies, and walked around the parks. Chelsea flew in that night and I couldnt wait! We picked her up from the airport and went to lenny's house to eat a lovely German dinner and plan our Amsterdam trip. Chels and i got a giant pizza and curled up in our hotel room to watch some German TV while dying my hair. in the morning we grabbed a few things from the grocery store and had breakfast in the park. We tried to find town and got really super lost but figured it out in the end. Once we all met up we found this nice spot by a creek and relaxed and talked for awhile until we had to go back to lenny's for a BBQ. That night the 3 of us girls met some boys and TRIED to talk for alittle bit. We got pizza again and fell asleep real fast which was good because our train left for Amsterdam at 6:20ish in the morning. We brought so many grocerys with us and ended up eating most of them on the train. Lenny was a bit out of it and was acting so silly. Once we got to Amsterdam it was so cold and rainy and gross and we had so much trouble finding our campsite. The guy at reception talked about wine and he was so funny. then we hung out and relaxed in our cabin and i ate about half a gallon of delicious "American" peanut butter. We got some coffee and decided to ride a giant ferris wheel and just at the perfect time too! The sun was just about to set and everything was golden and we could see the whole skyline! It was pure inspiration=) Then we played with the birds in the park. I just wanted to hold one! All the asians got birds, why couldnt I?! We bought a bunch of grocerys because I was really set on making mashed potatoes. So thats what I did. We had some fruit with our potatoes as well. They were super good. Then we went back to the room and hung out. Chelsea and I had a really great conversation about socks and hooks.
The next morning we woke up around 11. Lenny and Chels bought shower tokens for us. We all showered and Chelsea, Lenny, and I made brunch. We made fried eggs, this meat that kind of looked like bacon, and toast. When we cracked open the first egg there was a double yolk-CRAZY. The third egg had a feather on the outside of it! Then we went into town and throughout the day I got waffles, fries, and everything else that I wanted. We went into some shops and I got the patches that I wanted and then we actually found a piercer. Chels got her nose pierced first and then I got my snug done, and the lady kept dropping the ball in my ear-I was so grumpy! We went and played with the birds again. Lenny and I ended up going to 2 different McDonalds and we waited at the bus stop FOREVER. I was cold and fell asleep but finally the bus came and it was 2:30 in the morning but the bus was so full they got a special one to go straight to our campsite. We all were so increibly tired we fell asleep so fast. (In the beginning of this trip my journal was all I had, it was my best friend and the only one I could "talk" to. Especially since it was way better than talking to myself in my head. Thats definitely why I wrote so much. Now I think I'm a bit more independant and I'm with people I know. Maybe when I feel a bit more alone..) We woke up in the morning to a lady coming in our completely trashed room saying we had 5 minutes to get out. Somehow we managed. I have never changed/cleaned so fast. We went to the bathroom and got a bit more cleaned up. Lenny decided we should get rolls from reception for breakfast. So we got some and had them on a picnic bench and relaxed until we had to catch our train. When we got to Hannover Lenny's sister picked us up. We showered and she made us dinner. Lenny had some friends over and the night was kinda crazy/funny/interesting. The next morning we slept in and Chelsea and I got ready to catch our trains. We had to change trains 3 times and our second to last train required a reservation so we had to pay 22 euros and the guy next to us hacked up a lung every 5 seconds. We were both really hungry so I bought us a super expensive ham and cheese sandwhich on the train to share. . We ended up arriving pretty late but we got there just fine. We stayed up until about 2 and then fell asleep. It was super cool to hear the church bells ringing this morning! I realized my nose stud came out and that was kinda scary but I fixed it=) We set out for the market and decided not to buy new metro tickets becuase we didnt have any change and we still had some from the night before. Figures we get caught and have to pay 28 Euros each! And this guy dragged us around forever looking for an ATM. We bought a chicken and sat on the side of the street. We got a bunch of weird looks and Chelsea screamed when a bird flew at her. Alot of women asked us for chicken and a guy asked us where we got our colas. His name was Timo and he decided to sit down next to us and eat with us. We ended up getting some drinks and talking in the park. He didnt like the light. It was silly. Then we went to a bar called Le Relax where there was a sweet raggae concert. Chelsea had to pee so bad though and the bathroom was rediculous but Timo just wanted us to dance. Finally we lied and got out of there but got super lost. Then we went to get pizza from a pizza vending machine but it wouldnt take our debit cards. We fell asleep watching a movie about the Doors=)

Written April 4th 2009

Today we went to see two castles next to each otehr. They were both really pretty. I honestly dont think I could live in a castle though. They are so emotionless and excessive. I dont even go into every room of my house on a daily basis as it is! they seem to be designed for you to never really have to go outside-which is crazy! Our tour guide was so funny. He had a voice that made me think he should be the jester. I tried a bavarian hamburger and it was really good! hans is making a pizza now, im so excited!He said that only old people here drive automatic cars. We sat around the fire last night and talked about Harold and Maude and Cat Stevens. It's kinda yucky out today for pictures. So many people had such fancy cameras today. I think that also discourages me a bit, the fact that so many people have the cameras to take the same pictures I take, and obviously the interest or else they wouldnt invest the money in such an expensive camera! Also, the only lens I brought, the one im borrowing from school, wont work very well as a macro lens-even though its a macro zoom lens AND its definitely my style to take super up close pictures. its quite frusterating! it makes this aweful noise when i try to focus and then i cant take a picture so i have to turn it off and back on!=(

April 3rd, 2009

I have holes in my socks but it doesnt even matter, In fact, I kinda like the holes. You don;t get holes in your socks from just sitting around. Dharma Bums was the perfect book for me to read here. It made everything about this place seem even more peaceful. The Buddhism in it was amazing for me while being in these mountains. My hands and feet are freezing but i dont mind because I love the sunshine and fresh air circulating with all the windows and doors open. We never really do that back home.
The feeling of freedom Ive been experiencing on this trip is like nothing Ive ever felt before., Its mixed with responsibility, which gives me a prud feeling for what I've already accomplished alone on this trip. I feel so light and floaty, genuinely happy.

April 1st

I feel that I’m cradled in these mountains and that nothing could possibly go wrong. I feel so invincible. I’m surrounded by a million moving photographs. I can’t believe I went into this with such an awful mindset that it was going to be grey and cold and windy and I wasn’t going to ever want to go outside. I couldn’t have been more wrong. We arrived here last night around seven thirty. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The view in every direction is stunning. This house is so cozy I could live here forever. Finally I am over the thought that all snowy cold places are awful. Being here is absolutely the inspiration I was looking for. This place is just what I’ve been wanting. I already know I will come back in the future, there’s no way I couldn’t return. I started reading Dharma Bums last night. What perfect timing, it talks about climbing mountains! I couldn’t fall asleep for a while last night because I was just so happy thinking about the future. I’m so excited to see Chelsea in less than a week and go on some amazing adventures. While this place is giving me the push and inspiration I need, I know Chelsea will give me the energy and enthusiasm I need as well. I also cannot wait to go to all the other countries I’m venturing to. Returning to London will be the perfect ending to my trip; I’m excited to end in the same place I started. I can’t wait to come home and share all my crazy stories and give my presentation. While graduation will be sad I know its just the beginning on another stage of my life. I cannot wait for all my summer plans and preparing for college. I’m so excited to be going to Warren Wilson!
Despite all this, I am a bit frustrated with myself. I’m beginning to realize how important it is for me to be alone or with someone I am extremely comfortable with while I’m doing some serious photography. I can’t have any awkwardness, feel any pressure, or feel rushed if I’m to really take some spectacular pictures. My dad made the comment that most of my pictures so far don’t look like I’m really trying. I was really frustrated at the time he said this because I was already losing confidence and that just seemed to be the cherry on top. However it means he knows I have more potential; he’s seen my photography. I was thinking about it and its because most of the time I’ve been with someone else. Chelsea’s about the only one I will be with on this trip that I will feel totally comfortable taking pictures around. When I’m with other people I just feel like I’m being annoying and taking up their time or something along those lines. I can’t really explain it. I just need my mind clear of worrying what other people around me are thinking while I’m taking pictures. Anke showed me old pictures of my parents at this spot today; it really made me smile to see my dad with his camera around his neck in most of them. It’s the same camera that I now use.
Today we went to a palace in the mountains with this man made cave by it that was used for a theatre. I almost started laughing on the English tour because our guide seemed like such an emotionless robot. It was really nice to have a tour in English though! I also got some Pinnochio ice cream that was delicious! I love just driving around out here. My thoughts seem to come so much clearer. Hans decided to go to this little shop to get my mom a gift. ..... The man’s happiness rubbed off on me. I love people that are passionate about their work.
Random thought: It’s so weird to me to see little kids speaking German. In my mind since it is challenging for me to learn and since I can’t speak it and I am 18 in a way I feel that it should be too difficult for them to learn/speak. When I stop and think though, its simple. They have just been raised to speak German, chances are they can’t speak English!

The rest of Nurnberg

(Written March 30th)
I find it funny that was the last thing I said (I’ll explain later about yesterday). Well the day after we went to the castle we were planning on going to a neighboring town but it was too late and the weather wasn’t too fabulous so we decided to go to the zoo. I was really impressed at how close they let you get to all the animals. I also noticed there weren’t any coins in any of the ponds either; it was really nice. While the weather wasn’t too lovely I hadn’t been to the zoo in a while and it was really nice. It kind of re-instilled respect for all the animals I saw. Eating here is so funny. I’m so extremely more open to trying new food and if I get something I’m not too fond of I eat it anyway. I think of it as a bit of a challenge, like “just do it”. I’ve even eaten salad a few times! I need to start having this attitude towards food at home. It’s so different here because I don’t have the option of staying in my comfort zone and cooking for myself. I’ll try to be more open-minded this summer. The day after we went to the zoo we decided to go to the Scottish Festival. I really enjoyed watching the step dancing-and all the kilts were so great! I loved the culture of it all. It kind of made me wish I spent more time in Scotland, but I have to stop thinking like that. I know I will come back and it will be lovely and I’ll be able to explore more. I had some delicious fish and chips though! I started wearing my back brace again. I think I’m re-breaking it or whatever, its not good at all. Yesterday we went to the market because I really needed a coat as well as various other things. At first I figured this would be no big deal and that I could just figure it out on my own and go into town alone. However, this town confuses me more than anywhere I’ve ever been, it’s crazy! Anyway, Brigitta ended up coming into town with me and she said she was just going to wait at the coffee shop for me. I started off in a hurry because I didn’t want her to be waiting forever. I started out by getting lost and ending up on the edge of the townby the wall. I was so happy to finally make it back to the shops but then I couldn’t find a coat and I couldn’t find the coffee shop. I ended up walking around in circles for 2 hours. Turns out there are 2 churches and I was by the wrong one. I ended u finding the coffee shop and having some delicious chocolate cake. Anke even helped me find a coat! I was in such a good mood when we got home I organized all my stuff and spent some time on my own (which was much needed) and I painted my nails and tried to get the dumb dreads out of my hair-and failed. Nevertheless, it was really nice. Today we went to the bookstore because I was really concerned that I was going to run out of English books so I bought Naked lunch. I remember reading Junky on the plane on the way to Cali. It was super sunny out today so we walked for a while and took the bus to a lake by this place where Nazis used to assemble. The lake was really relaxing though and we spent some time on the patio of a nice fancy café. We had American food for dinner; it was really exciting! I found out someone that I knew in London that I wasn’t too sure about got arrested a few days ago for thievery. They even found a bunch of passports in his bag. I’m thinking he had my lomo camera too. That would be nice if I could get a hold of that. Ha, I liked my old passport picture much better anyway. I talked (kind of) to my parents about going back to London. Nick says he’s getting a flat or something like that. I’m also starting to plan my time with Chelsea. Couch Surfing seems like such a good way to meet people and save money. I don’t know why I wouldn’t do it. I could save money for London! Tomorrow we leave at 3, it’s going to be so cold! I’m really looking forward to, well, the rest of my life right now. There’s so much I’m looking forward to and nothing I’m dreading-right now. I hope it stays like that!

Nurnberg March 26th

I had this really strong dream last night that I had a dog that looked like an old stuffed animal of mine; and that it kept talking about reindeers. Strange. I want to make this a dream journal as well. Today we went to the Nurnberg castle. It started off being pretty nice outside but ended up raining freezing rain again. We took a German tour of the castle, which was really interesting. This language barrier is so weird, I kind of feel deaf. I can hear people talking but it doesn’t matter or register because my mind can’t process it. I got some yummy tortellini for lunch though. I’ve had to give up on being a vegetarian over here or else I would have even more trouble ordering food. It was really nice hearing from Rick today. Maybe if I watch enough soap operas over here I will learn German! Although a lot of people have said they’ve learned English from our music I can’t imagine doing that with any other language. I’m losing confidence in my photography skills. I just feel like anyone can take the pictures that I have. OH. Concept from Scotland: You have to become lost to know where you are.