April 1st

I feel that I’m cradled in these mountains and that nothing could possibly go wrong. I feel so invincible. I’m surrounded by a million moving photographs. I can’t believe I went into this with such an awful mindset that it was going to be grey and cold and windy and I wasn’t going to ever want to go outside. I couldn’t have been more wrong. We arrived here last night around seven thirty. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The view in every direction is stunning. This house is so cozy I could live here forever. Finally I am over the thought that all snowy cold places are awful. Being here is absolutely the inspiration I was looking for. This place is just what I’ve been wanting. I already know I will come back in the future, there’s no way I couldn’t return. I started reading Dharma Bums last night. What perfect timing, it talks about climbing mountains! I couldn’t fall asleep for a while last night because I was just so happy thinking about the future. I’m so excited to see Chelsea in less than a week and go on some amazing adventures. While this place is giving me the push and inspiration I need, I know Chelsea will give me the energy and enthusiasm I need as well. I also cannot wait to go to all the other countries I’m venturing to. Returning to London will be the perfect ending to my trip; I’m excited to end in the same place I started. I can’t wait to come home and share all my crazy stories and give my presentation. While graduation will be sad I know its just the beginning on another stage of my life. I cannot wait for all my summer plans and preparing for college. I’m so excited to be going to Warren Wilson!
Despite all this, I am a bit frustrated with myself. I’m beginning to realize how important it is for me to be alone or with someone I am extremely comfortable with while I’m doing some serious photography. I can’t have any awkwardness, feel any pressure, or feel rushed if I’m to really take some spectacular pictures. My dad made the comment that most of my pictures so far don’t look like I’m really trying. I was really frustrated at the time he said this because I was already losing confidence and that just seemed to be the cherry on top. However it means he knows I have more potential; he’s seen my photography. I was thinking about it and its because most of the time I’ve been with someone else. Chelsea’s about the only one I will be with on this trip that I will feel totally comfortable taking pictures around. When I’m with other people I just feel like I’m being annoying and taking up their time or something along those lines. I can’t really explain it. I just need my mind clear of worrying what other people around me are thinking while I’m taking pictures. Anke showed me old pictures of my parents at this spot today; it really made me smile to see my dad with his camera around his neck in most of them. It’s the same camera that I now use.
Today we went to a palace in the mountains with this man made cave by it that was used for a theatre. I almost started laughing on the English tour because our guide seemed like such an emotionless robot. It was really nice to have a tour in English though! I also got some Pinnochio ice cream that was delicious! I love just driving around out here. My thoughts seem to come so much clearer. Hans decided to go to this little shop to get my mom a gift. ..... The man’s happiness rubbed off on me. I love people that are passionate about their work.
Random thought: It’s so weird to me to see little kids speaking German. In my mind since it is challenging for me to learn and since I can’t speak it and I am 18 in a way I feel that it should be too difficult for them to learn/speak. When I stop and think though, its simple. They have just been raised to speak German, chances are they can’t speak English!